Things that Go BUMP in my Mind

Knitting, stitching, reading, gardening, cooking--I have no time for any of it.

Monday, February 28, 2005

It's "Reject Reality Day"!

There appears to be a general consensus among my online stitching friends that February pretty well sucked. Most of us had some kind of upheaval in our personal lives, and all of us were affected by the actions of certain cretins who evidently have nothing better to do than to cause trouble for others (and no, honey, I'm not putting you into that category!)

So, today has been declared "Reject Reality Day" in the stitching blogosphere. Participants (which include yours truly) have decided to construct their preferred alternate reality in their blogs.

So first, let's get rid of this current reality, shall we? Hmm, what implement shall I use? A flamethrower? Nah, too risky--I might singe the ends of my hair. Flood? Nope, it just gets everything wet, but it's all still there. Acid? Maybe, but I'm not sure where to get my hands on the right amount. Fertilizer bomb? Nope. Materials are not a problem, but the Feds are kind of twitchy about these things. (I probably just got myself onto a list someplace....)

That leaves Owen, the ultimate implement of toddler desctruction. Able to leap baby gates and crib walls in a single bound. Able to spit juice accurately to a distance of 10 feet. His tantrums alone can shatter glass, and left alone in a room, he can destroy it in mere minutes. Yep. Owen's our man. Go to work, kiddo!


All right. Having gotten rid of the old reality, on to the better one!

I've decided that my new reality is Andy's version of Monopoly--or, as he calls it, "the hatted game." (No, I don't know why he calls it that. He probably doesn't, either.) In the hatted game, peace, harmony, and untold wealth are the rule. I think we can all get behind that.

In Andy's version of Monopoly, the number you roll on the dice may or may not be the number of spaces you move--that's up to you. It is, however, the number of "moneys" you get from the bank. The moneys are usually distributed across the color spectrum, but as he's particularly fond of orange, you are likely to get a lot of $500. I assume that none of us have a problem with that. If you take too many moneys, they don't go back to the bank, you just share them with the other players. See, I told you--peace, harmony, and wealth.

Also, you can pick a card from "chance" or "community chest" on just about every turn. If they pay you money, great! If you owe money, just put it back on the bottom of the pile. Those cards are no fun, so we don't bother with them.

In Andy's version of Monopoly, the bad guys go to jail and stay there. 'Nuff said.

In Andy's version of Monopoly, everyone gets a house, and we all live on the same block. No need to buy your house--Andy will just give you one because everyone needs a house to live in. In Andy's version of Monopoly, there's really no ownership at all--everybody just shares. John Lennon would be so proud.

So that's my new reality. Anyone is welcome to join. I'm the scottie dog piece right now, but if you want to be the scottie dog piece, that's cool. I can be something else. Here, have some money and a house--this one, right next to me, my friend.


  • At 9:32 AM, Blogger WhizGidget said…

    I'll take the top hat piece if Andy will share it, and a nice view off of Marvin Gardens...

  • At 11:38 AM, Anonymous Charlie said…

    Hrmm...I'll take the racing car, and you can put my house right on the Boardwalk so I can watch the ocean while I stitch.

  • At 12:42 PM, Blogger Suz said…

    1. Monopoly is my favorite game ever (I'm collecting different versions


    2. I'm moving in, I like Andy's version. I have my own collectible car-token, is that ok?

  • At 1:47 PM, Anonymous Carol said…

    I *like* Andy's version of Monopoly. I'll take any piece that's available - I'm not fussy.

  • At 3:25 PM, Blogger Erin said…

    That sounds heavenly! I would love to move into Andy's monopoly game. However, being the ghostly pale redhead that I am, I'll have to wear the hat piece. Hope no one minds. :)

  • At 6:55 PM, Blogger Annette said…

    I'm with Andy on this. I'm partial to the iron...if I have it as a piece I don't have to use it for its original purpose, right?

    I've always been partial to Pacific Avenue, can I have a house there?

  • At 8:15 PM, Blogger Patti said…

    Wir haben eine Deutsche ... ah to heck with that. We've got Monopoly in German here, brought back from the Fatherland by dh's uncle when he flew reconnaisance (sp?) missions during the Cold War. We interpret the rules pretty much the same way Andy does, but the $500 bills are nicht so bright. ;)


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