Things that Go BUMP in my Mind

Knitting, stitching, reading, gardening, cooking--I have no time for any of it.

Monday, May 09, 2005

A word to the wise...

My dearest little Owen,

I know that yesterday was only your third Mother's Day and that you're still trying to get the hang of how the whole thing goes. So, I'm willing to cut you some slack for yesterday's debacle. But for the future, let me give you a few tips. You may wish to bear these in mind on Father's Day.

(1) Do not wake up at 2:00 a.m. If you must wake up then, kindly stay in your room and go back to sleep. If you are really, truly lonely, you may come snuggle with me on the condition that you immediately, and with minimal squirming, fall asleep.

As you may recall, my brown-eyed darling, 2:00 is when you woke up and decided it was "play with Mommy" time. You may also recall that Mommy didn't want to play, and neither did Daddy.

(2) If you are not going to follow my advice on #1, and you insist on being accompanied downstairs by Daddy, do not make that noise (you know the one I am talking about). If Daddy has to be up with you in the middle of the night, he is at least entitled to lay on the couch and bemoan his fate while you play. I know that you know that if you make that noise for a long enough period, the person you really want--me--will come downstairs. That is not a good enough reason for the making of the noise in question.

On the subject of that noise generally, my dear boy, you really need to quit it. In particular, neither the fact that the cat is within one foot of you on the couch, or that the DVD has skipped again is an occasion for making that noise. Really, nothing short of impending nuclear catastrophe is an occasion for making that noise.

(3) Also, do not make that noise simply because it irritates you that homemade waffles take a full four minutes to cook. Trust me, my sweet, if I could accelerate time to make the waffles arrive faster, I would. I'm sure that Daddy would, too, especially since he was the waffle maker. It's not going to happen, not matter how much you screech, so let it go.

(4) Accept naptime with grace and dignity. Do not dig your heels into my solar plexus while whining "no night-night." Furthermore, do not make that noise while hanging onto your door trying to escape. Mommy and Daddy are experts on tiredness, so please trust us when we tell you that you are tired. And even if we did not know this from your behavior, our mathematical and reasoning skills are sufficiently advanced to know that four hours of sleep in the past 24 is not sufficient.

In other respects, you did quite well on Mother's Day. I particularly appreciated that you and your brother played so nicely together while I worked in my garden, and that you ate a good lunch, and that once you had finally had a nap you were as sweet as pie. I also seem to recall much general cuteness and a big, slobbery kiss or two. All in all, not a bad performance. If you just work on the points mentioned above, I'm sure next year will go swimmingly.

3 Comments:

  • At 5:18 PM, Blogger Rani said…

    Happy belated Mother's Day, Kirsten! My dd, who is now 6, used to make "that noise". Maybe not the same as Owen's, but it was "that noise". So irritating, so nerve-wracking. I'm so thrilled to say that she outgrew it at about 3 or so. You really brought me back to it when I read your post. I can still clearly remember what it sounds like. ACK! ;-)

     
  • At 1:57 PM, Blogger WhizGidget said…

    Happy belated Mother's Day... I remember when mine made *that noise* too. I'm sure mine was different than yours and Rani's but it was definitely that fingernail tingling, last straw on the brain noise.

     
  • At 9:25 PM, Anonymous Melissa said…

    Happy Belated Mother's Day as well.

    And tag. You're it. Check my blog.

     

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